NFOpocalypse

Don’t you just love that nice alliteration? But the crassness and vulgarity of this article’s title captures the essence of it perfectly. Sometimes when a series moves forward, the hardcore fans bitch and moan because the game isn’t exactly like it was before. Fuck Fallout fans. Fuck them so hard.

You may be asking yourself what prompted this, so some backstory may be in order. The two RPGs I played first in my meager little life were Nethack and Fallout. I still play both to this day. The original Fallout is, to me, easily one of the best games I have ever played and probably ever will play. Maybe it’s the nostalgia, the complicated but understandable gameplay systems, or persistent consequences, but it impressed me like no other.

Let’s leap forward a few years to Fallout 2. I hate Fallout 2. Rather, I hate it compared to Fallout. The best way to describe it is “sophomoric”. The plot is contrived, the morality stupid, the gameplay systems archaic. The pacing was shitty and the plot twists and story elements were just asinine. This was a huge disappointment compared to Fallout. It completely lost that sardonic, satirical, sarcastic sense of humor that the first had.

Let’s leap forward another 10 years or so to Fallout 3. So there’s a new Fallout game being developed by the team behind Oblivion. Oblivion isn’t the best game, but it’s pretty good. Good enough to give me hope for the Fallout series. Hoping that Bethesda would look at Fallout and not Fallout 2. So imagine, to my incredible fucking bewonderment, that people were complaining. Not only that, but about the stupidest things. Stuff like a lack of the text bar present in the first few games or nuclear-powered cars exploding when shot. Apparently we should just disregard the old adage of “show, don’t tell” to appease these faggots. Oh, and everybody knows Uranium has a half-life of 200 years!  Heads up: sarcasm.

The worst people about this are the folks wandering around the forums at No Mutants Allowed. They froth at the mouth, spraying bile and spittle all over a perfectly good project. Keep in mind these are the same sort of people that come up with perks about raping characters with no consequences or getting a sex change. Awesome, upstanding sort of folks.  This is almost an article just to rile them up, but more of an article because they have riled me.

I’m optimistic about Fallout 3. I have reservations (Super mutants can’t talk. What?), but I’m not badmouthing the game for completely retarded reasons. It is for this reason that I give the middle finger to all hardcore Fallout fans. Fuck you guys. You lost track of what the series was about and got too focused on virtual debauchery and strict traditionalism. Learn to grow up, both with the times and to hit puberty.

Oh, and if you aren’t the kind of hardcore fan that froths at the mouth, I’m sorry for lumping you in with those faggots.

Tags: fallout

This entry was posted by dragonmaw on Sunday, August 3rd, 2008 at 2:00 am and is filed under Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.