ROMiniscing: Splatterhouse (TG-16)
Superior Epic [ Legendary ]
As the spiritual predecessor to the future Horror sub-genre and the first reported game to receive a parental advisory warning (and you thought it was Mortal Kombat!), Splatterhouse is a significant point in video game history. By today’s standards, fighting crucifixes and zombies as a Jason Voorhees-esque maniac might seem tame, but this marked a step towards opening darker-themed mature content to players. Ultimately, we have Splatterhouse to thank for letting video games become more than a teenager’s delight.
You are Rick, a typical man on a quest to save his damsel in distress, except for two things: you’re a Terror Mask-wearing sociopath, and she’s been captured by netherworldly apparitions. Animated remains, necromancers, disembodied heads, acid-filled corpses, zombie dogs, water spirits, possessed knives – even by today’s standards Rick’s nemeses are badass. By fist, 2×4, cleaver, shotgun, and spear anyone and anything standing between you and your woman Jennifer will die a grisly undead re-death.
In the end, there’s nothing bad to say about Splatterhouse save for its brevity. The HuCard hardware limitations cut the game down to maybe an hour long. While each of the enemies is differently demonic, they are all defeated with roughly the same punches and sweep kicks, and the weapon arsenal is altogether trivial. Still, for its time, the game was truly genius. Modern gamers may be unable to appreciate the sheer originality of the game in an age when Devil May Cry and God of War have gone and went, but be sure of this: Splatterhouse remains a game unforgotten by the hordes that played it in its time. Whether it was a -spoiler removed- falling long after the battle has been won, -spoiler removed- becoming a zombie archfiend, a series of undodgeable water mines, or a balrog dropping on your head, this game surprised and delighted you at every turn.
If you’ve got a Wii, Hu-Go!, or Magic Engine, Splatterhouse is mandatory homework for studious gamers. With plans to revive the franchise in the works, you can be one of the elite that know its roots. But really, you should play the original because no sequel can quite recreate the thrill of aborting 20+ fetuses with your bare hands. In the game, I mean.
What a weird note to end on…
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Did I peak your interest up there?
These screenshots should make it all clear… clearly out-of-this-world badass.
Tags: arcade-platform, beat 'em up, company-namco, emulation, erdtirdmans, PC, reviews-buy, ROMiniscing-legendary, single player, tg16, wii vc
August 25th, 2009 at 1:19 am
Indeed the ending was fun, when I originally played this on Turbo Grafx all those many years ago, however due to a strange twist of fate 2 summers ago, I actually had to abort 20+ fetuses (or is it feti?) with my bare hands over the course of a weekend. I found this act to be disturbing at first, but quickly felt more tedius than anything. All in all what’s done is done, the nightmares still haunt me, but if I can start to picture myself as Rick in the dreams, maybe just maybe I’ll sleep a little more to clock in some more baby bashing moments!
August 25th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
I think if you log some hours of Splatterhouse during the day, you’ll give your brain an outlet for these nightmares.
Erdtirdmans is not a licensed therapist and nothing here should be taken as medical advice. Except the part where he said to play classic video games. They’re good for the soul.