NFOpocalypse

[ Superior ] Epic Legendary

There are only so many variations to the Platforming model, but when the market was saturated with this genre, we gamers were treated to every possible iteration. Whether they were inserting RPG elements like in E.V.O. or pushing the model to its limit like in Kid Chameleon, developers built some amazing experiences from the “Platformer” scaffolding. One game that demonstrates this particularly well is Enix’s Hack-and-slash platformer\City-building Sim ActRaiser. And so, let’s ROMinisce.

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[ Superior ] Epic Legendary

Any SNES\Genesis\TG-16\Neo Geo gamer can opine about the long list of games that never made it to the North American and PAL region markets, but how many can name one that never made it into the Japanese?  And with Action RPGs having their origins in Japan, wouldn’t you be surprised if this game fit that bill too?   Well then get surprised, because today we ROMinisce about exactly that: Secret of Evermore.

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Superior [ Epic ] Legendary

Being a creative medium, a fresh idea like Spore is well-received in the game industry (even if it’s tantamount to a five-part minigame).  Long before YouTube was flooded with “Creature Creator” penis-monsters, evolution was the focus of a now obscure 1993 title published by Enix known as E.V.O.: Search for Eden.  Combining Platforming with Role-Playing, creationism with evolution, and science with mythology, this classic game remains distinct and downright fun.

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In the last decade video games have gone from being something nerds did instead of meeting the opposite sex to that thing almost all people do instead of meeting the opposite sex. While video games have become possibly the largest entertainment industry in history, they have also gained some of the most sickly parasites of all. I speak, of course, about hack critics. While you are playing a game to enjoy it’s deep mechanics, gorgeous art, or complete lack of either, your critic counterpart is busy picking big words from a thesaurus so he can shit on your favorite new title. The OBRR is the line in the sand, and I stand on one side armed with poor grammar and crude language. Watch where you step.

Let’s start this off with the most obvious fart-sniffer on the whole goddamn Internet

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Don’t you just love that nice alliteration? But the crassness and vulgarity of this article’s title captures the essence of it perfectly. Sometimes when a series moves forward, the hardcore fans bitch and moan because the game isn’t exactly like it was before. Fuck Fallout fans. Fuck them so hard.

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